Friday, December 23, 2016

Comic Review: That time Batman beat up Xenomorphs - Batman/Aliens Part 1

Batman/Aliens - Part 1


An as I read it comic book reaction


Quick Summary


Batman and a bunch of cannon fodder mercenaries take on Xenomorphs in a South American jungle.


Me Before the Read


I know who's going to win. I have a vague sense of the beats the story's going to hit. I haven't opened the comic yet. The beats of the story are easy to guess from the genre, the franchises involved and the era. I want to be surprised but I'm not counting on it.

The comic came out in 1997 so it was released the same year as Alien: Resurrection and Batman & Robin. I saw both movies in the theaters and they are rife with issues.

My Point-of-View


I'm a Batman fanatic. I have a deep and longstanding emotional connection to the character of Batman.

Alien is a brilliant film. Watching it was an assignment for a film class. I expected to hate it because I don't like horror movies but the acting, the symbolism, the production design were all fantastic. I enjoyed being proven wrong.

Play-by-Play


If you want a basic summary, head over to Wikipedia's Batman/Aliens article. This is an as I read it reaction to the comic. As of the posting of this article, I haven't opened the second book yet.

If you plan on reading the comic and don't want to be surprised, stop here. If you don't like nitpicking comics, stop here. If you don't want my jokes about the comic, you were warned and anything that happens after this paragraph is entirely on you. I'm just writing it; I'm not clockwork oranging you into reading this. So let's carry on.

The comic starts with the usual "I'm Batman and this is my deal speech". The speech frames the story as Batman's recollections of the events in the jungle. I assume he isn't going to die by the end so it's not necessary and undermines the urgency of the story because there's no chance of a tragic ending (unless the writer betrays the readers).

Alternate Ending Idea


What about a Batman-Xenomorph? Would a Batman-Xenomorph be drawn with a batcowl? I know he wouldn't have a batcowl because the batcowl isn't part of his gene pool but would the artist have had the Xenomorph put on a shredded Batman costume. A sad but interesting ending image. I expect Batman is not going to get impregnated by a Xenomorph.

Batman's on his own.

He left Robin at home. That's good because people will die soon.

Batman recalls parachuting into a jungle in the batsuit. I understand he needs to keep up his brand and I love him for it. But why not camo or anything that would make sense for the setting?

Batman stands up for animal rights.


Batman survives a crocodile attack and meets a group of mercenaries. He stops a mercenary from killing the crocodile that just attacked him. Right on, Bats. But the croc swims off with its mouth corded shut. How is the animal meant to get its mouth open? Their mouths are easily held shut. The same strength that can take your arm off can't reopen the mouth.

Never get attached to mercenaries when there's a Xenomorph in the neighborhood.


Hyatt, the only woman among the mercenaries, stops the captain from shooting Batman. She's normal looking which is odd in a good way. She's dressed reasonably and no superboobs. She stands out among the roided mercenaries.

Hyatt introduces Batman to "Dead Man's Hand". I get laughing in the face of death but come on! Rather than a name that says, "Damn it, we're all going to die." perhaps choose a name for your mercenary team that says "Mess with us and you die." The name could just be the writer's way of saying four of them are dead and the fifth is an unknown (the Dead Man's Hand is black aces and eights with a fifth unknown card).

They start their jungle hike and no one brought a camera (except maybe Batman).


The group set off into the jungle to search for their targets and the big, bad captain of Dead Man's Hand wants nothing more than to knock Batman down a few pegs. This is not going to happen. Batman could take him down with a punch and he's just being polite by letting the captain keep his gun. So the machismo posturing of the team's captain is a little amusing.

At this point, I have one thought, "I wonder when the captain's going to die." It's coming. Hyatt is the only person other than Batman with a shot of walking out of the jungle alive. There are other guys on the team and we are introduced to them but they might as well be called Alien bait 1, 2, 3.

The plot speeds along.


Points to the comic, the writer doesn't waste any time. The story is established, the ship is found and the facehuggers and eggs are located.

The alien bait shooting at a monkey (Bats says nothing) is an obvious set up for alien bait 1 to get attacked.

Checkhov's Gunman?


Hyatt tells Batman she's on the team out of ambition for power. The only people that gain power going on suicide missions in South American jungles looking for alien ships are bad people. I will be shocked if Hyatt doesn't try to kill Bats before the end of the story or at least betray him. In the world of Batman, a lust for power usually turns someone into a supervillain.

Batman's Mission


We learn Batman is there because Wayne Tech employees have broken off contact. They're dead.

Bats


The big bad mercenaries are scared by a cloud of bats (bats are adorable).

What would a bat-Xenomorph look like? Not a Batman/Bruce Wayne Xenomorph but a Chiroptera Xenomorph.


"You want a meal, try me!"


Alien bait 1 dies by a bullet to the head. The Xenomorphs attack and Batman beats them up while Alien bait 2 dies from a mouth monster to the head. Captain dies and takes one of them with him in an unsurprising grenade suicide. These are typical Alien movie deaths.

Uh-oh


Book one ends with the crocodile from the beginning finding a facehugger egg on the verge of opening. I'm happy the crocodile got the rope off his mouth but bummer about the facehugger. Curious to see how the facehugger is about to impregnate the crocodile. It doesn't seem like they were designed for that.

Part 2: Coming Soon

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